


Dear Science

by Lady_Nightshade



Series: Just Another Day in the Tower [7]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cookies, Darcy likes the Beatles, Darcy sings, Don't ask what those are because I don't know, Gen, SCIENCE!, Thor is off world hunting snorkle-bottom beasts!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-22
Updated: 2014-11-22
Packaged: 2018-02-26 15:40:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2657414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Nightshade/pseuds/Lady_Nightshade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy is having a hard time wrangling in the scientists today.  Usually it's easy enough for her (with the aid of a god of Thunder or a confetti cannon) but today they're just being stubborn (and Thor is off world).  So she enlists Jarvis to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Science

**Author's Note:**

> I want a confetti cannon. I saw one at a parade once and I want one.
> 
> Also, my word processor was judging me hard for this one. Apparently it disapproves of the words 'sciencing,' 'Disneylanded,' and some of my more creative attempts at spelling within the parameters of the ridiculousness that is the English language. It's a party pooper.

Darcy was having a hard time. The day, as it sometimes did (more often than not in Avengers Tower) was not going her way.  Usually when she was having a day this difficult it involved black holes, large worms, killer video games, mad men in ridiculous outfits, or an alien invasion (“No, Thor, you bringing your friends for a visit does _not_ count as an alien invasion.” “But you have said I am an alien- a double alien.” “Yes, but your friends are coming in the name of peace and cup breaking good times- not invading.” “But did not the Beatles come in the name of peace, love, and the music?” Darcy hadn’t known whether to be proud of the big guy or annoyed).  But there were no invasions, space anomalies, or villains today. Today’s source of difficulty was scientist related.

Darcy’s main job was to assist (nanny) three geniuses in their own fields.  Darcy usually did Jane’s filing and note organization, maintained that the woman ate and slept, and did the due diligence of a best friend with tequila. With Bruce, she did his filing and helped clean up the lab area and clear old plates away. With Tony… well, with Tony she usually did whatever she could (which sometimes involved a fire extinguisher and a huge sense of humor).

Usually she could handle Jane (and now Bruce and Tony) without issue.  The woman loved foods she could eat quickly with her hands and to have someone to listen to her while she ranted about science.  When they weren’t sciencing, the woman liked tequila.  A pastime that Darcy could definitely get on board with. Usually when she found she was having a bit more trouble handling Jane and cajoling her to eat and sleep she just found Thor.  If nothing else the big guy was able to throw Jane over a shoulder and just walk off with her. But Thor was off planet at the moment- something about the glories of the raging snorkel-bottom beast (or something or other) hunt. 

Dr. Banneer was giving her a hard time as well. Usually he was agreeable (if just a little absent minded) and so long as she set food in front of him, he ate it after giving her a small but thankful smile.  He liked tea and Darcy had noticed that if she started leaving him different tea flavored treats he was more inclined to perk up and pay attention when she walked in.  He really liked the Green Tea Kit Kats.  Darcy had made sure that Jarvis ordered her a couple of bulk orders. She hid them in her supply closet that she had in her apartments for extra safe keeping (Clint was a bit of a candy thief). But today, Bruce was in one of his rarer science moods where he almost stopped hearing anything that didn’t sound even remotely scientific. It’s like he had beer goggles on. _Science goggles_.  Only instead of making everyone more attractive they blocked out anything not science-sexy.

Tony was _Tony_. He was usually on a science bender. But normally she could tempt him away with coffee and at least convince him to eat if she literally hand fed him (yes, they paid her the big bucks to sit in labs that frequently blew up, imploded, or got slimed to hand feed grouchy scientists).  Distracting Tony from science was actually kind of fun because Darcy could get creative. 

Tony was always one for a good prank so he never got too annoyed with her when she used less than conventional methods to get his attention.  The confetti canon had been a personal favorite of hers.  Though she hadn’t realized it would be the size of a bazooka. She should probably start reading the specs of things that she ordered online.  But Jarvis had said that this would be the best one to use. So she’d gone for it. There was a lot of maniacal cackling coming from her apartment the night she opened it (who says assistants can’t have their evil laugh moments too?).  She’d almost had to call for Clint or Sam to help her carry it down to the workshop. Instead she’d used a mechanic’s creeper that she’d stolen (“ _No_ , Jane. It’s called ‘ _borrowing_.’” “Not if you never put it _back_ , Darcy!” “But it’s so much fun to _ride_ on!”) out of Tony’s garage and had pushed it down to the workshop to use it.  Tony’s lab looked like a parade had marched through it (actually, one had. Jarvis had gotten the bots to line up and parade around in a serpentine pattern winding through the workbenches and around prototypes.  He’d even remote piloted a few of the suits into marching with the bots and waving at Tony in a famous Pasadena Rose Court Queen sort of way.  Jarvis was definitely the best.  _Ever_.).  The whole impromptu tickertape procession was the reason why VAC-C now existed- Tony had actually built a sentient little rumba vacuum to ensure clean up should anymore of these parades occur (Darcy was pretty sure Tony would want a parade after every science success now.  She’d created a monster.  _Dear Thor, what had she done?_ ).

While her job wasn’t always the easiest, people were her thing.  And normally she was able to drag _these_ people away from their labs long enough to get them to eat.  She hadn’t always been so successful in getting them out into some fresh air, but with Jarvis’s help, she’d at least been able to expose them to some vitamin D (She got Jarvis to untint the windows for so long each day to give them some exposure). 

But today, even with Jarvis’s help, she’d barely been able to get them to respond to her.  Honestly, what did they do?  Get together and decide what days to give her more trouble?  Darcy could see it now:

> _‘You are cordially invited to the monthly TSU (Troublesome Scientists Union) mixer. The TSU meets every second Thursday of the month to discuss how to make the lives of our assistants (minions) more stressful.  Please check your weapons at the door and do not vaporize, impale, slime, incapacitate, or in any way terrorize the cloakroom attendants.  Refreshments (pop-tarts and coffee) to follow the business portion of the gathering.  RSVP at MUWAHAHAHA@villainmail.com.  We look forward to seeing you there.’_

Darcy had hoped to get some real food into them by sunset, but that just didn’t look like it would be happening. So instead, she was in the kitchen baking every kind of cookie she could think of.  There was still the problem of how to get them to come up and eat them though.  Thinking for a minute, Darcy was struck with an idea.

“Jarvis?” Darcy asked as she pulled out the last of the cookies and began plating the cooled ones. 

“Yes, Darcy?” Jarvis responded.

“The tower has an intercom system, right? Like, you can send my voice to any of the rooms?” 

“Yes, that is correct.  Would you like to tell sir and the others that the cookies are ready?”

Darcy nodded.  “Yes, only I don’t think that telling them is going to be enough to get them out of their science burrows.  I’m going to need you to send my voice to all three labs, but I’m also going to need your help with something else.”

“Of course.” Came the reply.

*

Jane was in her lab when she noticed something smelled good. _Really_ good.  Over in his lab Bruce looked up as well, having noticed the same thing.  Even Tony, in his workshop, began sniffing.  Someone was pumping the smell of baked goods into the labs. Before any of them could figure out where it was coming from, Darcy’s voice suddenly filled each of the workspaces as she began singing.

“Dear Jane, won't you come out to play?  
Dear Jane, greet the brand new day!  
The sun is up, the sky is blue  
It's beautiful and so are you  
Dear Jane, won't you come out to play?”

Jane’s face split into a large smile.  She loved her friend so much- her quirkiness just one of the reasons. Looking at the clock she realized she’d been working for hours on end today.  Darcy was right- it was time for a break.  

Darcy continued singing.

“Dear Bruce, open up your eyes  
Dear Bruce, see the sunny skies!  
The wind is low, the birds will sing  
That you are part of everything  
Dear Bruce, won't you open up your eyes?”

Bruce was already pulling his glasses off and smiling.  Clicking off his microscope light he hung his lab coat up. But instead of heading toward the door, he stood and listened to the rest of Darcy’s song.  He hadn’t known she could sing- it was nice. He liked it.  Hulk liked it to- the big guy literally sighed inside Bruce’s head. 

“Dear Tony, let me see you smile  
Dear Tony, like a little child!  
The clouds will be a daisy chain  
So let me see you smile again!  
Dear Tony, won't you let me see you smile?” 

Tony had been welding at the time.  Jarvis had shut off his music so that Darcy could be heard clearly.  Of all the residents in the tower, of course Darcy would be the one to bust out some Beatles.  He hung up his welding goggles and put away his equipment.  Science was demanding, but even Tony Stark could stop indulging for a few minutes in the name of baked goods.

“Dear scientists, won't you come out to play?  
Dear scientists, greet the brand new day!  
The sun is up, the sky is blue  
It's beautiful and so are you!  
Dear scientists, I made cookies- **SO GET YOUR ASSES UP HERE!** ” 

All three of the scientists laughed at Darcy’s last nearly shouted line. Jane and Bruce met in the hallway and walked to the elevator together, which opened to reveal Tony already inside.

Jarvis informed Darcy that all three of the scientists were making their way to the communal kitchen.  Darcy huffed in satisfaction as she pulled out glasses and began pouring milk. 

Five minutes later Jane and Bruce were sitting at the breakfast bar while Tony had seated himself on the counter. Each of them was eating off of the many plate fulls of cookies while Darcy had started dinner.

Jane eyed her friend with weary approval. “You Disneylanded us.” 

“ _Disneylanded_?” Bruce asked, a small, amused smile on his face.

“I get,” Tony nodded.  “Supposedly Disneyland pumps fragrances into the air by the restaurant areas to make people hungry.  Has anyone ever told you you’ve got a devious mind, Lewis?”

“Yes.” Darcy nodded.  “You.”

“Oh, right.  Good.”

“Now shut up and eat your devious cookies. But leave room for real food because tonight’s menu is devious spaghetti.”

**Author's Note:**

> In Pasadena CA every year there is the New Year's Tournament of Roses parade. It's a big deal- there's marching bands flown in from all over the country and tons of participants. There's floats, food, candy, and of course, the Rose Court- which is a group of women (girls, really- they're high schoolers) selected each year. You have to be between certain ages and live in Pasadena. I tried out myself when I was the right age because there's a ball that they give you tickets to if you try out (what I really liked is that they don't discriminate on who can try out- not that I'm certain anyone other than a girl would win... but the person before me was actually a guy and he showed up in a suit saying his gf was too shy to try out but wanted to go to the ball so he was interviewing instead to get the tickets for her. I saw them at the ball later on). Anyway, there's a specific wave that the court does from the float- well, there's 2 actually. You either hold your forearm up straight and then just rotate your wrist side to side with your hand cupped, or you wave your forearm at the elbow and then you wave at your wrist (it's referred to as the elbow-elbow-wrist-wrist wave). That's what I imagine the suits doing.
> 
> So you've heard the Disney 'fact'/'rumors' right? (Dolly's Dip, the basketball courts under the rides, Disney's shoes in the grave yard, etc.) I've never actually looked into any of them in any sort of seriousness other than to just read about them/hear about them from random sources so that's why Tony says 'supposedly' when talking about how Disney pumps smells into certain areas of the park to make people hungry. I've been told it's vanilla scented. But I haven't been to Disneyland in over 10 years, so I couldn't tell you if it's true or not.


End file.
